Several Broken Water Mains in Town Proper

In town proper, the person in charge of monitoring the water company’s tanks received an alert that both of the towers were nearly empty. The computer alert is only one part of the system, though; the tanks also have floats that somebody with the water company can go observe.

You would think, then, that a “Your tanks are nearly empty!” alert from the computer would be simple to confirm. If you were in charge, you’d probably radio or call one of the employees in the trucks all over the town and ask him or her to drop by and check the floats, right? That’s simple and sensible confirmation of what the computer told you was wrong, so why not?

The idiot in charge decided, instead, to blame the alert on a computer glitch. Instead of confirming that there was really a problem, he called tech support; the agent told him that somebody would be out the next day. In the meantime, this dolt sat on his hands, ignoring the alert because it couldn’t possibly be legit.

As it turns out, the tanks supplying the entire stinkin’ town with water really were almost empty when the water company’s employee failed to do anything useful. By the time the computer tech came out and told him that there was no computer glitch, they were almost bone dry. Shortly afterward, citizens started calling in to report that they didn’t have any water coming out of their magical faucets or garden hoses.

The fix – getting more water into the tanks – went well enough. The problem, though, is that the water lines running all over the town are old and crappy. When the water started running through these pipes again, several mains broke.

Yes. Several. As in, roughly seven.

All this happened yesterday or the day before; the water company swears that people in town proper will have water again by Monday. In the meantime, they don’t have water to bathe, flush their toilets, drink, do dishes, or fill their inflatable swimming pools.

Do you trust everyone at your water company to always do the sensible thing? Do you have complete and utter faith in the invisible-to-you pipes and other equipment? Do you believe that any necessary repairs will be completed before you even start to smell bad, especially in a heat wave like we just got past?

If not, now’s as good a time as any to make sure that you have plenty of potable and non-potable water stored away. The people in town didn’t have much, if any, warning that they were going to lose water, so that’s an excellent example of why preparing in advance is a good idea.

A few barrels of water in the basement…some five-gallon jugs of drinking water…a rain-collection system…one-gallon jugs…there are lots of ways to put back water so that, when something happens, you won’t suffer too much.

Sleeping Arrangements for Houseguests

I hope that your Thanksgiving (or regular ol’ week if you don’t do Turkey Day for whatever reason) was outstanding. I’m writing this entry a day early and setting it to auto publish tomorrow (today from your perspective) because my family’s celebrating a day late. Travel and work schedules didn’t work out so well for Thursday, which is fine. Thanksgiving is about family more than anything else, at least in my opinion, so we’re happy to put off turkey and dressing for one day if it means that we can eat and spend time together.

This week, let’s talk about accommodating extra family members or friends. That’s a good subject because a) many of us have family over, especially around holidays and b) in a sufficiently large emergency, your relatives could very well drop in on you. Not all of them will give you warning in advance, so there’s no good way to predict how many folks you’ll have to house, feed, clothe, etc. should something go wrong.

Despite not necessarily knowing how many people you can expect, you can probably accommodate a few houseguests, especially if they’re family. (Many of us will go an extra two or three miles in order to help out family, which is good.)

Even in small houses like our trailer, it’s possible to squeeze in some extra people for a few days, if not weeks or even months. We’ve done just that before plenty of times, and are doing it right now because Wayward Bro’s home for the holidays (very cool, by the way – we’ve missed him). Sleeping arrangements tend to pose the biggest challenges, but a little planning in advance tends to make things work out. Here are some tips and ideas for the time when your people show up on your doorstep.

No matter what sleeping arrangements you make, people are going to need bedding. Don’t assume that someone who’s dropped in on you without calling first is going to be prepared enough to bring blankets and pillows. Even if that person did grab bedding before heading to your place, it’s better to have too much than too little. You can pick up fantastic bedding for very good prices at thrift stores and garage sales. Give the pieces a thorough cleaning, make sure that they’re completely dry, and use your Food Saver to seal them up. These vacuum-sealed packages take up only a small amount of storage space and are protected from pretty much everything (assuming, of course, that you don’t store them in a harsh environment). I use the Food Saver for “off-season” bedding: the big blankets in the summer and the thin ones in the winter, but that method will also work for storing extra bedding for guests.

When Wayward Bro came home Thursday, he brought his U.S. military cot with him. He found this item at a surplus dealer for about thirty-five bucks. The cot is relatively small; folds up into a really small bundle for storage; and is made of durable materials. My brother found his locally, but USMilitarySurplus has them for…um…a rather-high price in my opinion. You can, however, get the cot’s exact dimensions as well as a photo if you visit the site.

You can, if necessary, make the cot even more comfortable with one of those foam toppers, or by folding up some blankets and lying on top of them. In my experience, these cots are fine the way they come, but we’re all different.

Alternatively, you can use bunk beds. That’s how Mom and Dad managed to fit three boys into one bedroom and two girls into another when we were growing up. Granted, we were much smaller than we are today, but you can squeeze even bigger bunk beds into tight places.

I don’t, however, like pallets on the floor – for a few reasons. One is that a cot or other bed that’s off the floor gives a little storage space underneath. You can put your shoes and day clothes under a cot or bunk bed and not trip over them if you need to get up in the dark. I also dislike the floor because I’ve yet to sleep on one that’s actually comfortable. I always – even when I was a spry, carefree kid – wake with stiff joints (which puts me in a bad mood).

If weather permits, you might pitch tents near the house and put people out there. That idea depends on various factors, though, including the type of emergency (I wouldn’t put people outside if there were, say, a toxic-chemical spill in the area); how much room you have in your yard/outdoor area; and what the area’s like (it would really stink if one of your relatives were mauled by a bobcat or devoured by mosquitoes, after all).

Some of you are bound to have other ideas. What’s worked for you all as far as beds/cots go? We’re all here to learn, so comments are, as always, encouraged.

If you want to give people a bit of privacy – which, by the way, becomes more and more important as your time together drags on – you can suspend blankets from the ceiling. That’s what my sister and I did when we had to share a bedroom. We hung blankets around our bunk beds to form private sleeping areas. I was much more comfortable in my own bed after the blankets went up. Maybe it has something to do with the illusion of privacy? I really don’t know, but it worked.

You might also try to keep kids separated by both gender and general age group. My sister is eight years younger than I am, so we didn’t have diddly in common when we were growing up. I wanted to stay up later, being a teenager and all, and she wanted to play with her obnoxious toys. Maybe these kinds of things won’t be big problems if you’re dealing with an all-out crisis, but a little separation will keep the kids in better moods…which, of course, makes your job as the adult a bit easier.

It also helps to give everyone a chore related to the sleeping area. When each of the people who use that area have a task that they can perform (even little kids can do things like collect the pillows and put them in the storage area), they tend to be in better moods. Human nature leans toward doing: if we have a task, we’re usually happier than if we’re just sitting around, thinking about the situation that we’re in.

Also, making sure that everyone has an assigned task can prevent some arguments, especially in the kids’ area. Kids love to gripe, as anyone with kids (or, like me, a bunch of younger sibs) will tell you. “He isn’t doing anything.” “She messed up my area.” “Tell that jerk to stop throwing his candy wrappers on my bed.” If they’re all busy with their small, but important, chores, they won’t be quite so quick to argue over who’s not doing anything, or whatever else.

More on Get-home Bags

I’m frickin’ sick right now, so I really don’t have much to say about survival or preparedness right now. This proves, though, that you can practice great personal hygiene – keeping the hands clean, avoiding common surfaces as much as possible, keeping your fingers out of your eyes, that sort of thing – but still pick up nasty germs and other bugs.

So, let’s talk about something that I can concentrate on long enough to write a few coherent sentences about, mmkay? Yeah, that would be good. Let’s talk about get-home bags because, judging by the high number of “Get home bag” search queries leading to this site, folks are interested. Even though I’ve discussed these bags before, there are a few more things worth saying about them.

Okay…let’s just do the questions that I hear most often, because they’re important. Lots of you want to know these things, so let’s get right to it.

What kind of bag should I use?
It doesn’t matter. Really. Find a bag, pack, or sack that’s well made, sturdy, and large enough to hold all of the necessities. You should be able to easily, comfortably carry this thing, preferably on your back because you might have to do some heavy-duty walking. I’d also keep the bag’s weight in mind, both empty and fully loaded, because it’s easy to get weighed down.

What sort of stuff should I include?
Well, what sort of items do you think you’re going to need? I would definitely include changes of clothes; some snacks and other food; plenty of water; and a first-aid kit, because these are all vital to your survival. However, there are other things that you might want to consider packing, like fire-starting gear; a flashlight with extra batteries; and maps of the area. Also, remember that you can always add or remove items as you learn more about your personal needs and preferences: you don’t have to get everything right the first time, I’m glad to say.

Why should I worry about a get-home bag in the first place?
Emergencies don’t often announce themselves very long in advance, meaning that you can be stranded with little warning. Do you want to give yourself the best possible chance of getting back home in one piece, or do you want to rely on other people and luck to get you through?

Even if you don’t think that anything terrible is going to happen, you have to admit that everyday emergencies are entirely possible. If your car breaks down in an area where you don’t get cell phone reception, you might have to walk several miles. Wouldn’t that hike be easier if you had a bag with comfortable walking shoes, some water to keep you hydrated, etc.? Sure!

Should I pack a weapon in my bag?
No! Your weapon should stay on or near your person whenever possible because, that way, you can quickly reach it in order to defend yourself. My handgun, for example, usually goes in an inside-the-waistband holster because I carry concealed. However, when I’m in the car, I can’t easily reach the handgun in its holster: therefore, said gun is near my person, but still concealed in order to comply with state law.

However, storing duplicates in the get-home bag is not a bad idea. If you have a folding knife that you keep on your person, stash the second one in the bag – just in case.

What kind of food do you recommend?
I like food that’s easy to prepare without any additional tools, including can openers. I bought pull-top cans of ravioli, for example, and I can easily open the snack crackers and peanuts and such without anything but my fingers or, in the worst-case scenario, my folding knife.

Plan for both energy-giving snacks and full meals, because you really don’t know what sort of situation you’ll be in. You could end up camping out in the vehicle for a day or more, which would be a fine time to have some decent food – versus a box of Cheez-Its and Spongebog Squarepants fruit snacks.

Do you have any weird items in your bag?
Yep. I have a 24-ounce bottle of Mountain Dew in my get-home bag because I’m a caffeine addict. Yes, there’s plenty of water in there too, but I’d hate to go without my Dew if I had down time and didn’t have to have the water to stay hydrated. You can call that a crutch if you will because that’s basically what it is, but I don’t see any problem with comfort food (or comfort beverages in this case). I just wouldn’t overdo comforts like alcohol or pot because you might need a clear head to get out of the situation you’re in.

And now, if you’ll all excuse me, I’m off to bed. The medicine’s starting to kick in and I’m feeling rather loopy, so this is probably a good time to sleep.

Water Sources

Because we have to have potable water to survive, my family and I have made sure that we have multiple sources. Regardless of circumstances, we’re able to find drinking water, and that makes us all a little bit more relaxed despite the problems that are coming.

The first source is, of course, the tap. Turn on the faucets and the well magically brings us water. This is easy and convenient when the electricity (our well pump isn't solar powered, I'm sorry to say) is working and the pipes aren’t frozen or broken. However, things go wrong, so we have alternatives.

For starters, we have extra plumbing parts lying around, as well as pipe glue and tools. More often than not, when part of the plumbing breaks, we have the gear on hand to fix it. We can always use more fittings, and you really can’t have too much pipe glue, but we have a good start on the stash.

A bunch of one-gallon jugs of drinking water are on hand, which will keep us going while we work on one of the other backup plans. These jugs won’t last long, but it won’t take much to access the other sources.

We can drain the plumbing, then grab water out of the toilet tank, if we need it. This won’t provide much water, but it will give us something to drink while we work on one of our other backup plans.

The next water source: the creek and ponds. There’s always water in the ponds, and the creek runs when it’s raining. None of this water is potable, though. I wouldn’t bathe in any of it, even with tons of antibacterial soap.

Fortunately, my family and I have fire. We have plenty of firewood here at The Homestead as well as buttloads of lighters and matches. There are, of course, other fire starters as well. The wood smoker, and the two wood-burning stoves, offer perfect surfaces for pots and pans. We can easily boil as much water as we can scoop out of the creek or ponds when needed.

Rain water is not a given – we do have long dry spells here – so we don’t count on it. If it is raining when we need water, we would of course take advantage of that. We have plenty of ways to collect rain water, so it wouldn’t take much effort to make this happen.

Collecting rain water is a simple matter of placing containers in the open so that tree bark, gross stuff from our roof, et cetera, don’t contaminate the supply. Food-grade containers of various sizes will catch enough rain to keep us going while we boil water, or whatever else we’re able to do.

And if we get enough rain, the puddles and craters scattered all over The Homestead will fill up. Our property contains lots of clay, which acts as a natural filter. Let the clay settle and the remaining water is fairly clear. I would still boil it, however, because there have been meth labs in the area in the recent past. Meth-lab owners tend to bury or dump all sorts of toxic chemicals and other items, which would make the water very, very bad for us.

There’s also the possibility of locating a hand pump for our well. This is on my family’s to-do list. It’s not considered high priority because, hey, we have other sources of water. Eventually, though, we’ll probably add this anyway, because we’re talking about water here. We all agree that having yet another water source, or way to get to the current source, is a fine idea, because we’re dead without the stuff.

You just have to think outside of society’s boundaries, that’s all. We’re used to turning on taps, so pretend that your water lines are broken. If you live in a decent area, you’re surrounded by other water sources. If you find ways to make that water potable, you stand a very-good chance of surviving whatever disaster or problem has hit your region.

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Edit (June 23, 2009): Okay, so I was wrong about boiling water to remove toxins and other crap from water that's possibly contaminated by garbage that meth cooks dumped all over the place out here. Thanks, anonymous commenter, for pointing this out - seriously, good catch.

Anyway: I know that the well water is good to go, but I'm not sure about the other sources - as far as meth-related chemicals and crap goes, that is. Fortunately, it turns out that you can create a solar distiller, as the folks over at EcoFriend.org have done. The link's a how-to guide, and it looks relatively easy to do. The happy people over at Mother Earth News also have some interesting ideas about this.

However, I have zero experience with any of this (obviously). Does anyone have any experience with this, and have some advice to offer? I mean, I could just go buy a distiller from Amazon.com, but they're kind of expensive.

Preparing Food

Unless you just love the idea of slurping cold ravioli from the can after the world’s gone berserk, you’re going to need some semblance of a plan for food preparation. Ideally, you’ll have more than one solution, because variety is good – and because something nasty can thwart Plan A.

There are lots of ways to continue eating even when the power or gas aren’t working. I’ve had to make food without such luxuries before. Honestly, it’s not that difficult to do if you’re prepared beforehand. But if you wait until things have already gone wrong to figure out how you’re going to turn your stockpiled food into meals, you’re just adding more unnecessary stress to your life.

When I was in the Army, I did of course eat my share of MREs. If you can get your hands on MRE heaters – the funny-looking green packages that sometimes come with the food – do it. They’re fascinating little things, and work very well whether you’re in the field or at your dining-room table. The heaters require only a small amount of water, which does not even have to be potable, to function. You can pour water from your toilet tank or a creek into the heater pouch and be fine, because the food bag that you then drop into the heater pouch is sealed. Just be sure to clean the food bag off very well before you open it, that’s all. Rinse it with potable water, then wipe it down with a clean rag if you have one.

If you can’t acquire the heaters – eBay, for example, does not like for sellers to ship them with the MREs – boil a pot of water or put the sealed food bag in the sun. You can even stick the entrée bag on your car’s engine block if necessary. The bags are very tough, so don’t be afraid to put them in hot places. They are, after all, designed to sit in boiling water.

I do not, however, stockpile MREs. As much as I appreciated the food when I was in the service, it’s more expensive than “normal” food. I’m a civilian, so Uncle Sam doesn’t hand me a case of MREs for free anymore. The civilian brands, usually marketed to hikers and other outdoors types of people, just don’t appeal to me, either. But if you want a compact, nutritious meal that’s easy to store and tote around, by all means get MREs. The food’s not bad at all, for the most part. I was quite fond of the ravioli in particular, and pretty much any meal that came with the Snickers Munch bar. Mmm…peanuts.

My family and I do most of our cooking with the electric range. We bake cookies and casseroles, cook chili, et cetera with the stove. It’s a fantastic appliance, and we use it almost every day, so we’re quite used to the convenience. However, we know that a power outage is going to ruin this for us, so we have other ideas. In the past, we’ve had to do without all of our appliances, so we’ve figured out a few basic things about “alternative cooking.”

We have a wood-burning smoker, which usually cooks burgers and other meat. But when our power’s out for too long, we’ve put that sucker to good use on leftovers and other foods. Because our smoker uses firewood (and, therefore, open flames), we have to be careful when we choose the cookware. Cast-iron cookware is best, in our opinion, because it doesn’t get messed up when you put it on the grill. Hit yard and thrift sales or Goodwill if you don’t have suitable cookware. It would really stink if you couldn’t boil your frozen veggies before they went bad in your useless freezer because you didn’t have a way to safely put them on the smoker or barbecue pit.

In an emergency, though, a metal coffee can will do. Also, keep in mind that you can remove labels from food cans, and open them up, to cook the contents. We’ve heated more than one can of green peas, ravioli, et cetera this way. For the peas, stir in a pat of butter and a pinch of salt right before you dig in.

Speaking of opening cans: how’s that electric can opener going to work out for you without juice? We have two manual openers, which cost us between four and eight bucks each. I’ve never liked electric models, myself, because they seem like a waste of money to me. Then again: some canned foods come with pull-tab lids now anyway, so you don’t have to worry about an opener if you can buy only those types of cans.

Another cooking option involves the wood-burning stove. We have a box-shaped stove in the living room, which is perfect for stovetop cooking. There’s no such thing as incredibly-accurate temperature regulation – you get either “hot” or “hotter” with a wood-burning stove – but it’s very easy to heat or cook various foods. We’ve made scrambled eggs, rice, macaroni and cheese, et cetera on the stove, and everything tasted just fine.

Years ago, when I was six or seven, we had a Coleman camp stove. This was tucked away in storage, because my parents weren’t using it anymore. When our electricity was disconnected, which led to a fourteen-month stint without it, Mom and Dad had to dig out the stove. This enabled them to heat water for coffee, cook basic meals, et cetera. The problem was that, because they hadn’t anticipated the long-term power outage, they had not stocked up on Coleman fuel…or maintained the stove. Soon, the stove broke, and there was no way to fix the thing. We were almost out of fuel anyway at that point, so my parents had to go to other methods, like the barbecue pit.

Making a cup of java without a Mr. Coffee is easy, by the way, for those of you who’ve never done it. When we don’t have electricity here at The Homestead, my parents grab the coffee pot and the basket. They boil water on the wood-burning stove and pour it through the basket (which, of course, has the filter and grounds in place). The water drips through and into the coffee pot, which makes my parents happy. My sibs and I very much prefer happy parents, so we sometimes volunteer to make the coffee for them, just to get on their good side.

The good old sun is great for heating pre-cooked food, at least in my experience. We’ve used that giant, burning ball in the sky to warm all sorts of things. Just put the food on a dark surface and let nature work. Some people have gone so far as to build solar or cardboard-box ovens. I’ve yet to give this a try, but I certainly don’t rule out that possibility for the future.

There are plenty of ways to cook your food even without electricity or gas. The main thing is to think ahead and plan before things go crazy. That way, you can test your ideas and figure out what really works – and what’s going to require some fine tuning. The next time you crank up the wood-burning stove to heat your living room, why not try making a couple of scrambled eggs on it? We might as well practice our skills before they’re actually needed. That way, we have some extra confidence when we do have to use them.

Home Security in the Middle of Nowhere

I don’t really have much to say about city or suburban home security because I haven’t spent much time in those environments. For two years, I lived on campus, so security was up to the school. We weren’t allowed to change locks, upgrade security measures, or possess most defensive tools, so I pretty much relied on other people to care for me. This sucked out loud, and I was quite happy to stop doing it after two years.

Most of my life, though, has been spent in the country. Home security is entirely up to my family and me, because nobody else cares. We can’t even install an alarm system because the Sheriff’s Department wouldn’t respond to it. We live too far out in the country for that, and the average response time is more than one hour anyway. We don’t blame the Sheriff’s Department for any of that, but we do acknowledge that we have to either take responsibility or leave ourselves open to criminals.

There are layers to home security. You don’t want to rely on just one method, because Murphy will monkey stomp your face for you if you do that. Overlap three or more layers and you can reasonably believe that your security setup is tough enough to deter most would-be troublemakers.

The key, in my opinion, is making your homestead the toughest-possible target. The average thug is not the sort of fellow who enjoys working up a sweat doing honest labor, so you can reasonably expect him to find a softer target if your homestead’s security presents a challenge. There are exceptions, of course, but a strong effort on your part will discourage most of the people who would otherwise consider targeting everything that you’ve worked to earn.

I don’t want to go into too many details about The Homestead, but I will tell you that we rely on four layers of security to keep things as secure as possible. This might seem like overkill to some of you, but none of the layers were difficult to put in place, or very expensive. They’re all easy to maintain, too.

We have a good layout; fences; dogs; and firearms. These four things all work together to discourage the bad guys.

The Layout
It should be relatively easy for you to see what’s happening outside your house. We can glance out the windows and see exactly what’s going on without letting anybody out there know that we’re looking. At the same time: they can’t just roll up and peer through our windows. Being able to see outside is important because, if you hear something or your dogs alert you to a stranger’s presence, you don’t want to open your door to see what’s going on. You want to keep that barrier between yourself and the stranger. After you take a peek outside and realize that the “stranger” is your aunt or the mailman, well, you can always open the door. The person outside won’t know that you checked him or her out before you opened up, and you can be confident in the knowledge that you’re doing what you can to keep yourself and your family safe.

The Fence
The Homestead’s perimeter is fenced, mostly to keep our dogs on our property. We used field fence, stretched between alternating t-posts and cedar posts. Topped off with two tightly-stretched strands of barbed wire, the fence is just a tad menacing. People, we’ve noticed, don’t like to get too close to it – just looking at all that barbed wire seems to give them the heebie jeebies. That’s fine by us, because even good friends, fellow church members, et cetera, need to be invited in. We hate when people try to just open our gate and walk in without so much as a howdy, and that nasty fence combined with the dogs discourages most visitors from trying it.

The Dogs
We have a few formerly-stray dogs: mixed breeds that just showed up here and decided to become part of the family. None were trained beyond the usual, small things that every (healthy, capable) dog should do: sit, come when called, et cetera. They aren’t guard dogs, and they will not attack on command. However, they happily defend their territory, because they’ve been treated like family members since they came to The Homestead. When you play with your dog…pet him…brush his fur…feed him yummy food…and tell him what a good dog he is…he’ll feel right at home. You’re still in charge, as you should be, but that dog will, more likely than not, defend his turf without prompting.

Our dogs will, when people show up, bark to let us know that we need to investigate. They have a light, friendly “woof” for family members and close friends, and they have a louder, more-aggressive bark for strangers. They didn’t receive any special training: they simply do this because they want to let the pack leaders (the humans) know that someone’s here.

The Firearms
Do I really need to go into details here? I don’t think that I do. Everyone in my family is an adult, and we all know how to safely and effectively handle every firearm in the house. We know the plan, and what each of us are supposed to do if something goes down. The firearms are backups to the other layers, so we aren’t likely to need them. Even so, we’re ready, because we don’t know this for a fact.

The key is to work out a plan beforehand, and rehearse it with everyone in the home. Many parents have their children lock themselves in closets when they (parents) send up the alarm to do so, for example. Adults often work out who will go where, with what, so that there’s no cross fire or confusion in an emergency. Know what you’re doing before you have to do it so that you won’t hurt someone you care about, or leave an important area unsecured or whatever.

Ideally, you’ll find a few layers to include in your home-security plan, and they’ll overlap so that they work together to keep you and your homestead safe. One plan is not ideal for every person or piece of property, so be sure to look at your needs, and your layout, and decide what will work best.

Temporary Toothache Relief

I have dentures because I inherited rotting teeth from my Mom’s side of the family. Yes, I’m only twenty-seven, but I’m actually happy to have a full set of false teeth. They don’t rot out in my mouth, abscess, or cause me any other excruciating pain, unlike the real teeth they replaced.

However, my family and I had to wait a long time to get my bad teeth out of my mouth. We don’t have much money, and don’t qualify for Medicaid, so we had to scrape together cash and pay the dentist a little at a time. He wouldn’t do the work until the bill was paid, because he couldn’t exactly chase me down and put my bad teeth back in my mouth if I skipped out on him. Fair is fair, if you ask me – but while we were working and paying him off, I was miserable.

Toothaches, particularly abscesses, are not fun. If you have the ability to see a dentist, do so. I’m terrified of these professionals, having had more than my fair share of nasty experiences with them over the years, but good ones will fix problems. You can’t eat properly with broken teeth, and suffering through an excruciatingly-painful abscess pretty much shuts down anything that you would be doing with your life if you weren’t in agony. I spent plenty of time flat on my back, with an ice pack or heating pad covering my face, instead of going to classes or doing some other, productive thing with my time.

However, I know good and well that not all of us have money lying around for dental appointments. Dentists are expensive, especially if you don’t have insurance. Even if you do have coverage, major dental work – like dentures – is often a 50/50 deal (you pay half and the insurance company pays the other). I understand not being able to afford dental work, and I understand the misery that you might suffer while you’re trying to reach that goal.

If you have a toothache or an abscess – you just might have to deal with it at home as best you can because of that whole lack of money thing. This sucks, but you can do a few things to try and alleviate some of the misery. This is not a substitute for a dentist: rather, this will make you somewhat more comfortable until you can scrape together the money to get into the office.

Infection
Clove oil is a fantastic thing. If you dribble a little bit of this over and around the affected tooth, it will draw out the infection. This is one of my favorite alternative remedies, because clove oil is inexpensive, easy to find, and extremely helpful.

I also got good results from tea-tree mouthwash. This stuff has natural, antiseptic properties. And unlike the chemical-laden, prescription mouthwash that my dentist prescribed when I saw him about an abscess, the tea-tree version did not make me hurt even worse. Seriously: the large bottle of Colgate prescription stuff was horrible. I hurt so badly after I swished the first time that I started throwing up. The tea-tree oil didn’t do that to me – and that stuff’s only about ten bucks a bottle where I shop.

Swelling and Puffiness
Moist heat can be your friend when your tooth’s trying to murder you. I have a moist heating pad, which is a fantastic investment if you ask me. I found mine in Walmart’s pharmacy section for about ten, twelve bucks. When I curled up with this sucker pressed to the affected area, I usually felt better. This takes some time, and it doesn’t completely eliminate the pain, but it helps. (This pad was also, incidentally, the only thing that enabled me to doze off the day that I had all of my teeth pulled in one sitting. Not even the Vicodin was as helpful as this.)

Side note: if you don’t have a moist heating pad, get hand towels from your kitchen or bathroom. Dunk them in the hottest water you can stand, wring them out, and press them to your face. You will have to change out these compresses fairly regularly, but they do work when they’re what you have on hand.

You can also try alternating between heat and cold. I sometimes did this, with good results. Just be sure that you don’t leave either one on your face for more than five to ten minutes, as that can be painful.

Sometimes, getting into a hot shower and letting the water hit the affected side of your face helps. This wasn’t helpful every time I had a toothache, but there were times when curling up in the bottom of the bathtub, with the shower head doing its thing, did help.

Nausea and Vomiting
When the tooth’s abscessed, and you’re busily throwing up everywhere, get some Emetrol. You know: the nasty-flavored anti-nausea medicine that’s loaded down with sugary syrup? That stuff. Walmart’s store brand is pretty good, and a lot cheaper than actual Emetrol. Take as recommended to keep the puking at bay. Throwing up makes things worse: the force of your vomit washing over your bad tooth is…just…miserable.

If the Emetrol doesn’t work by itself, take a dose of it and chase it with the appropriate amount of Pepto-Bismol. During one miserable abscess, I did this three times within forty-five minutes. After the third dose, the vomiting finally stopped long enough for me to start taking the antibiotics and Vicodin.

Pain
Orajel works really well on tooth pain. This is another case where Walmart’s store brand does a good job for less than the name-brand version. I used to stick the tube into my mouth, near the bad tooth, and just squeeze. There were times when I’d squeeze out a good one-eighth of a tube all around the tooth. This isn’t recommended as a long-term solution, but it does help relieve some of the pain for a while.

If you happen to have some Vicodin in the medicine cabinet, left over from that sprung shoulder last year, take it. I’m a big fan of stashing my leftover pain pills. I very rarely need them all for the actual problem, so I rathole the leftovers. More than once, they’ve been handy for other problems.

Ideally, you'll be able to find, and pay for, a dentist in the near future. However, things go wrong. Maybe you can afford the bill, but live in the middle of nowhere (like I do) and all three dentists in the area are off for the weekend. Maybe society's gone right down the toilet and dentists aren't affordable, if they're still in business where you live. Maybe something else has gone wrong. Being able to relieve at least some of your misery is a vital skill, because a toothache will flatten you.

My Get-home Bag

Score! Yesterday, I stopped at Home Depot on the way home from classes. I found five-gallon buckets, with lids, on sale. Serious sale - nearly half off, in fact. They're the bright-orange, Home Depot buckets, suitable for paint and other such things. I paid $20.35 for five buckets and lids. That's cheaper than Walmart's usual price for thinner, cruddier buckets.


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Until recently, I didn’t really give much thought to having a get-home bag. Oh, yeah, I made sure that I had gear on hand to deal with car trouble – that began when I started driving, after all. I’ve always kept things like spare tires, extra bulbs and fuses, et cetera, in any vehicle I’ve driven. But recently, I put together my first get-home bag, and I’m pleased with the results so far.

The first thing that I packed was a complete change of clothes. Texas weather is crazy, so I packed more than one shirt. That way, I can layer if it’s cooler. I also have a hoodie in the bag, in case the weather is what passes for “cold” here.

My clothes went into a Food Saver bag, which I vacuum sealed. Sucking out all the air in the bag gave me a little more space, which is almost always a plus. The Food Saver bag also protects my clothes from moisture, dust, et cetera, so I don’t have to worry about something happening to my things while they’re riding around in the car with me.

The Food Saver bag went into a large Ziploc bag. I’m talking about the non-food version (“Big Bags”) with the double zipper and carry handles. This bag, on initial inspection, appears to be sturdy. Pulling open the double zipper requires a bit of effort, which means that it’s well sealed. I like that. The handles make the whole thing easier to carry and, if I have to change out of wet or filthy clothes, I can stuff them into this bag. (I will, however, let you know if my initial impressions of this bag’s durability are inaccurate. So far, so good, though.)

Speaking of this sort of thing: avoid Space Bags. They’re poorly-made, malfunctioning, worthless crap if you ask me.

I bought a box of assorted Space Bags a couple of years ago, thinking that I could store winter clothes in them. They’re made of flimsy plastic, and more than one of them tore. (Yes, I followed the directions – didn’t overfill the bags or anything like that.) You’re supposed to be able to suck the air out of each bag with your vacuum cleaner's hose attachment, but that doesn’t always work. Sometimes, I went back to a bag that was stored underneath my bed and found the stupid thing full of air again because the seal around the vacuum-hose port failed. Complete waste of money if you ask me.

My handy-dandy get-home bag also includes snacks, bottled water, and individual pouches of Gatorade mix. I've added a fleece blanket, maps of alternate routes to and from school, and a few other assorted items, like a good flashlight. I put together a first-aid kit, too, and bought a roll of fluorescent-orange duct tape to add to the bag. Why I'm so jazzed about having bright-orange tape is beyond me. Maybe I'm easily amused. But it was the same price as the standard, silver stuff, so why not, right?

Mom was, as usual, extremely helpful. Her head's crammed full of random knowledge, facts, and good ideas. If you want good advice on how to do something, go ask her, because she usually has an answer.

The first thing that she suggested was to put a couple of unscented maxi pads into my first-aid kit. This makes perfect sense, because these pads didn't begin their lives as feminine-hygiene products. Before I came into existence, they were bandages/wound dressings for military personnel. They can still do that job, so I threw in a couple of them when I put together my kit. They'll absorb a lot of blood, and you can use medical tape to secure them.

This being my first attempt at a get-home bag, I'm sure that I've forgotten something important. However, I was already carrying other, important gear on my person - like my folding knife - before I started thinking about this bag. Things like my gun, cell phone, et cetera aren't in the get-home bag, so they aren't mentioned here. I have more gear than my seemingly-short list indicates, and I'll be sure to continue adding to, and changing, the bag as I continue using it and thinking about it.

Uncle Sugar's Slaves Whining About Katrina, Bush

Side note: I decided, when I first started this blog, to post only once a week. This is because I wanted to elaborate on specific topics, being the long-winded type of writer and all. My thinking was that, if I wrote as much as I wanted to about each subject that came to mind, I’d end up with a fairly-long piece. So far, this has been mostly true. I happened to publish my first blog post on a Wednesday, and just decided to stick with that schedule. I don’t go to classes on Wednesdays, so I have some free time for blogging. And even if I’m swamped with homework, well, I can schedule a post in advance, right?

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With the Obamessiah’s Glorious Ascension looming, people are looking back on George W. Bush’s Presidency – and criticizing him at every turn. One of the big complaints is his response to Hurricane Katrina. Apparently, the President is to blame when a whole group of sheeple are too bloody stupid to get out of Dodge when everyone from weather forecasters to government officials are shrieking that the mother of all storms is heading right for them.

Apparently, Bush was supposed to fly to New Orleans before the storm and physically drag every mouth-breathing, knuckle-dragging sheep out of the path before Katrina landed. Apparently, Bush did not order FEMA and other federal resources to the scene quickly enough. Apparently, the President of the United States is to blame when a group of citizens are so pathetically dependent on Uncle Sugar that they cannot, or will not, make plans to stay alive and safe in an area that is known for massive hurricanes.

Heaven forbid that people who live in places like New Orleans have hurricane preps such as bug-out bags, plenty of fuel in their vehicles, or a bug-out location. That’s effort, which is a foreign concept to those who have allowed themselves to become Uncle Sugar's slaves. As long as the government’s providing the bread and circus, the resource-leeching masses aren’t bothered by such trivialities as personal responsibility.

These mindless zombies chose to stay despite the loud, repeated warnings that Katrina was quite capable of blowing the coast into outer space. Plenty of people did get out of there. Some of the people who took off didn't have much of a plan: they merely saw the pending doom, grabbed as much stuff as they could, and left. They did what they had to do to survive, because they had enough sense to realize that Katrina was a lot bigger and badder than they were.

But those who refused to think about their own safety for even five minutes stuck around even though they knew that this epic storm was expected to be a lot more than a light drizzle with occasional breeze. They stayed behind even when their own government – their lord and master, for all intents and purposes – yelled at them to get out of there.

Those who could have left, but chose to stick around, deserved what they got. I am not speaking of those who could not evacuate - people in hospitals, for example. They obviously had no choice, and I'm certainly not including them in this.

Then there are those who did survive the storm - whether by bugging out or staying in place and getting lucky - but fully expected Uncle Sugar's handouts to keep them comfy forever. Do you remember the hordes of people who were shrieking about not having rent money a year after Katrina? I do. Losing everything does set you back significantly, yes. And I do understand not being able to afford flood insurance, and having to wait for the claim if you do have the policy. But a year should be plenty of time to get another job, save up money, and find another place to call home – especially when Uncle Sugar footed the bill for the motel room during those twelve months.

The government gave people money so that they could feed, clothe, and shelter themselves. Some chose to spend this free resource on illegal drugs, television sets, et cetera – then started complaining when they didn’t have food, clothing, or a place to stay.

There were people who whined because the government passed out Meals Ready-to-Eat. These self-contained meals are good enough for our military personnel, but they weren’t good enough for the leeches. They didn't have to go buy this food with their free, government-sponsored cash, but they were griping anyway.

A lawsuit for more than three quadrillion dollars, along with assorted claims for millions, and billions, apiece, proved that New Orleans sheeple expected Uncle Sugar to take responsibility for an act of God. Because goodness knows that, when a hurricane or other natural disaster wipes out an area, the government's at fault and should pay the victims a massive sum of cash - a whole lot more than they would have earned in their lifetimes.

I can’t forget Kanye “Bush hates black people” West, who blurted his racist rhetoric during a Red Cross plea for assistance. Obviously, Dubya despises minorities. I mean, he did order God to send Katrina where it landed, didn’t he? Or did he merely order the secret destruction of levees, forcing the flood waters into areas populated mostly by blacks? Oh, who knows what that crazy cracker did!

I am not a George W. Bush lover. He wasn't our worst President, but he wasn't the best, either. As much as I despise some of the things that he’s chosen to do over the last eight years, he’s not responsible for what some citizens chose to do (or not do, more accurately) before, during, and immediately after Katrina. The people who are currently whining about Katrina, and Bush's responses to that storm, are the same people who collected the free government aid and then whined about it. They’re the same people who didn’t take charge of their own lives and safety. They’re the same useless drags on society that we’ve been supporting for decades. They failed to plan, so they suffered. That's real life, and no amount of finger pointing is going to change this reality.